guten morgen

guten morgen
i have been busy lately thus my long absence...

see you at the finals...
missyE

hi5

hi5

My baby turns 5.

i was lost in motherhood till now. i tried so hard to do things right. to make things look perfect. to have a gorgeous bundle of joy to show the world. thru the journey I got confused, depressed and burnt out...

despite the many experiences i had. i am one who handles a baby rather carelessly. i simply plonked you on a soft surface and shove the bottle in your face. while other mothers would craddle their baby in their arms to feed...

*the beddie buddy secret...

Jeff was helping ummie hold the bottle for you*

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countless times i made you trip in the bath tub. i made you knock your head while placing you in the car seat. oh how i made you cry. abah would always throw stern looks at me when I fumble around you...

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then when I see a fellow mother handle their baby so tenderly. i thought i dont love you enough...

but when you play the crying game. then i fail to soothe you no matter what i try. i thought you dont love me....

.

forgive ummie my love, for i have sinned...

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now that you have a mind of your own. you are teaching me to take things as it comes. you blow me away with your gaze and antics. you never fail to give me a thank you smile for fetching you each day. how you get distracted during play to look for me. when I caught you spying at me you turn away smiling coyly..

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Oh how you make our hearts flutter wit love. how I find it incredibly hard to believe you are ours. oh I hope its not too late to enjoy these beautiful moments...

ummiE

teach me

teach me

on track for a better me. i am looking for classes to educate me on how to raise my kid bright and healthy. i do read up on the web but its somewhat limited. i dont read much books so i guess attending such classes would do me good. *i don want missy to miss out the wonders of reading*

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so i went across these.. mostly gov sites..

MCYS

Parents as Coaches

Synergyst

KKH

not much really. may find better luck at CCs. if any of you have any to reccommend me, please do..

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highlighting what i found, *just to amuse myself... hee..*

Advantages of bottle feeding
Father can share in the feeding and bond with your baby too
Longer time between feeds
Your baby may sleep longer between feeds
Good if you do not enjoy breastfeeding
Someone else can feed your baby
Easier to bottle feed in public

my next assignment : to brush up my english and attend creative writting classes

C'caine

jolt

jolt
bulk of our letters are bills of course. all with my name on it. however one mail stood out. it was from SPH. he highlighted it to me. i told him maybe i won a contest somewhat. he got excited. in turn i too got hyped up. he was confident it must be a lucky draw contest. now that i am writing it out... i could have been a new owner of NissanSunny from NTUC! well i knew we were gonna be disappointed. he ripped it open and pull out a nice heavy coloured printed kinda of paper.. the letter spelled out for us in bold...
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UNSUCCESSFUL REGISTRATION
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with a familiar logo : shape.com?.... then it hit me.. arrgghh.. my set goal.. my shape run... my promise to syidzz.. my 5km run cert.. *hee.. still going for certs...*
due to overwhelming response they said. i was not successful. some lines later it says that i can write to some athletics association about my failure to register. thats it... maybe they dont have my name listed in the athletics association. maybe they know i am a fat mother who wont make it to the finishing line.. they are so wrong. i can make it.. just a wee bit longer than others... hee
well i am still invited to the event and still able to collect the goodie bag.. woohoo.. all this without having to pay the $15 that they asked for earlier.. yahhoo..
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but what about my efforts.. wasted? of course not.. i have to admit it feels like it... now i will change my course. i will start to d.i.e.t.. ha!.. i will try to lose all that post preggiweight that is still hanging at the lower half of my body... in fact i am feeling all pshyched up to lead a better life!
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thanx to Oprah's episode 'Ten Years Younger' it features how woman got a slap in their face by their own horrid reflections. so they workout and got a change of wardrobe and hair makeover... voila a new person is evolved. well they did not cheat though. they really sweat it out.. so now i can do it too..
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lets start with exercise.. check *will try to do more at home and walk more of that 5klik routine*
food... check *have to practice healthier eating habits.. bluek*

H20... check *i cant seem to let 1L pass down my throat yet its not even the min req*
diet pills.. check *bad move but what the heck*
err.. ya wardrobe.. check *a new hijjab donner so most of my wardrobe is new anyway.. but sexy clothes is out of the question*
hair makeover... check *lets make that face makeover instead*
quality time wit my husband and family... check *once a month nightout with him plus looking out for diving courses as i write.. family?..err think later*
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now those are big ambitions but rather achievable really... so lets start now..
*i'm off to lunch at McDonald's!...oops... err..without french fries ok wat....*

C'caine

feetish

feetish
with the introduction of foot rattles. i have discovered my feet. my feet goes everywhere i go. except when i stand or when ummie put me in the carrier. even my hands go missing then...
i can grab but unable to hold on. but with my feet i can hold on as long as i like. i hold 'em when i am in the car, in my bouncer, on my playmat, whenever i wish really...

i will tell anyone everything bout my feet. *if they understand that is* how many feet i have, how many toes, what colour, what they feel like, i just dont know what they taste like... hmmm...

missyE

glued

glued
i have been glued to the tele every night watching this. (explains my absence and blogger's block) i'll put baby to sleep and be engrossed with Korean opera. today is the finale of 70 episodes. i only watched intensively like 3 weeks ago. leaving my him to enjoy his soccer matches and laundry! he has been ferrying baby and doing laundry!... boy i better wake up. i am afraid that he may explode and tell me off. today last, i promise. after this i will trigger my superwoman mode...

*sing* i'm not your superwoman..hmmm..mmm..

C'caine

resist

resist

Ffeud.. resist i must..

for now he will take over the baby ferrying service..

C'caine

grow grow grow

grow grow grow

recently we went to a friends place. much to my surprise you behaved like any lady should. no 2hr crying spells!

you donwanna sleep. donwanna sit. you just wanna stand. you simply whine a bit when we put you down. you wanna stand and chat, blab and jab... i believe the winning formula is the presence of 5 other kids around you. yeah they may be older but you so wanted to share your thoughts with them. you learn something new though.. you went blrrrrrgh... with your saliva sprouting every where. apparently one of the abangs thought you that. hurray to your fast learning trait but it was a messy lesson...

you are no longer the basic needs *cry only for milk. poop n sleep* baby. you are getting wiser. responding to our calls and play. i love you. i still go to abah and say we have a baby. you are our baby. masyaAllah. its a lot for me to absorb. so wait for me to enjoy these moments before you start talking back at me...

.

Happy Father's Day Abah...lurve

ummiE

dry run

dry run
had an early start today. i have been working out for this. so i had my dry run *or walk for that matter* this morning. doing it alone is no fun. no one to push me. i am even too shy to run. what if pple see me. *i keep checking my blindspot* this cha bo run 40m stop. walk 2km. run 20m stop. walk some more. heehee..
still walking thru 5klick i get to see many many things. the mak ko tai with his morning face, apeks meet-n-greet sessions by the bridge, frogs, birds n squashed dead snakes even... but the best find is the many many durian trees with fruits! i also saw a trail leading to it. maybe will bring a bag the next time round and 'em durians will be my weights... i chose a quiet road so its peaceful. smelling the nature at its best.. a stinking yesterday's catch fish, shiity aroma from the swampy area of the punggol river... all those sights and sounds n smell with the breeze in may face made me miss my hiking days. i have to say it was good therapy for me....

to my dear gonjeng,
i am sorry. it is competitive run. i want you do your dash don wait for me... i have never been a runner. now with the ageing n heavier body. my stamina has also depleted some. but do not fret my love. i will be der wit you at the starting line. upon completion, you go change and get some drinks n snacks. wait for me at the finishing line and cheer me on. i will be der its just a matter of time...

C'caine

beddie buddy

beddie buddy

some ppl develop habits to make themselves go to sleep. my boo would fidget with her shirt hems while drinking milk before bedtime. my uncle would sniff the corners of his pillow. my fren would suck his thumb. well i have my binky for that. i have not developed any fetish yet. ummie hopes that i dont come up with any. however i do have a beddie buddy.

meet Jeff the Giraffe. he had been my sleeping companion since i was 2mths old. i can always count on him to make me sleep sound wit no bad dreamz. one day, i am gonna teach him to get me my milk. so i wont have to bother my parents...

actually it belongs to ummie. abah gave it to her. but i like it very much so its mine.. heehee... goodnite

missyE

goodies

goodies
i just received my mother's day gift. better late than never.. it was an Elba clothes dryer.. gah...
i am a sucker for anything to make my housework less of a chore. heehee.. next is to look for some gadget to fold the clothes for me maybe..
more good things coming my way tomorrow... his fren's wife *so long winded* decided to join me on my amore workouts. yeah... plus i have been shopping at the JohnLittle and NewBalance warehouse sale recently. so i will be going out with a bang tomorrow. armed with new shoes, pants, shirt even sports bra! *in delicious colours too..white, pink n red* i am ecstatic. new gears plus a sparring partner to boot.. woohoo..

C'caine

breastfeeding

breastfeeding

so the topic of the day is breastfeeding. according to Aniq n Ajab...

its obvious that i took my failure in EBM rather seriously. having reading up on its benefits i wanted to make it happen. i know that no one in my family history was successful but i thought i have the makings of a full pledge breastfeeding mom. unfortunately that is still a dream to me. coz i crashed n burned...

i talked to him about it. i knew i needed help. i went to 2 docs! so i got myself some pills....

Do you have postpartum depression?Take this quiz...
Your score on the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale was 19
A score of 12+ indicates the likelihood of depression, but not its
severity.

when enough is enough... here i am looking for help...

they actually rub it in... not only their babies get better nutritions, mommies lose weight faster, they get to keep their sanity too...

Breastfeeding is associated with enhanced mental health

.

i am a very cheerful person by nature. when missy threw tantrums at ppl's homes. my aunts were praising me for being a brave girl. coz obviously missy is quite a challenge. they said they may not be as gung-ho as me going thru it all alone. i simply smile or crack jokes. little did they know that i will bring it home to brew! wahaha..

seriously i am ok...*smiles*

C'caine

X

X

is the letter of the day

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X-tra... i have been drinking up to 150ml at times. so i will simply take in less at the next feeding...heehee

X-ercise... ummie have been bobbing me up and down while we do exercises together...

X-men... i am still waiting to watch this movie...

..x..x..err... how about..

mark-X... i love to drool at its front view of course.

i like going on joyrides nowdays. with ummie it can be anything from walking, riding or hiking... i will go anywhere with you ummie. anywhere...

*sings* i will follow you

follow you wherever you may go...

missyE

nip n tuck

nip n tuck
today goes down in history. but ummie say most likely i will not remember the date. so logging todays event is a good idea...

it was a family affair. we head to ADIDAH family clinic & surgery. easy name.. sounds like my shoe! there we took plenty of photos as it was just us. no one else... soon we went in this cramp room that smells different. i was acting cool with my denim dress.. then ummie place me on this cold bed like surface with a light shining so bright on me. hey i like to be in the spotlight but not literally. i started to whine. then i heard a familiar melody. its from my crib! then there was my rattle too. ummie brought my toys along, but why? then this woman came and fondled me down there. i cried to see that ummie didnt save me from that woman. then an excruciating pain came. only then ummie rescued me. she covered me up proper and gave me a good ol' ummie hug. i went quiet immediately. abah came along to say how proud he was of me. heehee... but i dont know why really. ummie said i was a brave girl too. she also mentioned the word 'sunat'. well the day just started we went on wit eating and shopping but i am too sleepy to... Zzzz...

missyE

mayday mayday

mayday mayday
0800hrs - saw 3 police officers roaming about.
~1 min later - sirens broke silence in our serene estate
~police started running, firefigters combing the area
~civil ambulance arrived, a stretcher deployed...


i had to go kpo. so i drag missy along...

it was a circus in the quiet estate of Fernvale. 1 pumper, 1 mini pumper(not rhino though), 1 CD patrol, 1 civil ambulance, 2 police patrol cars....
firefighters looking out for smoke at the kitchen windows. no luck. then they were ordered to climb every floor to smell for one!
no action plus rain coming down... missy n me retreat..
what happen?? wo pu chi tao...

C'caine

ole

ole

abah is not really a soccer enthusiasts. he hardly even play the game. ummie always say somethings not right when a man doesnt play ball. but the world cup fever got the better of him. not only did he played recently.. he got the charts, profiles, tactics... abah is all geared up! he had just approved to have all in the family to crash at our place for the opening match tomorrow. when i say all i mean all... nyang, baktok x2, baba x2, ami x2 and my boo... woohoo..

i'm ready are you...

first up will be 'no ballack team' VS ???

missyE

strands of issue

strands of issue

hair is the winning litter around the house. he is always mocking me bout my hair at every corner he turns. well it is normal to lose about 1000 strands a day! according to glen&FD anyway. unfortunately even the little one is shedding. its all over her pillowcases. then i noticed some pillowcase do not have as much. so i thought the material contributed....

It's hard to say. Babies' hair growth patterns can vary widely. Some babies are born with a full head of hair, while others have only a sparse covering. What's more, infants often lose all the hair they're born with during their first six months. Sometimes the hair will grow right back in, but in a different color or texture. In other babies, it will take a while to grow back. Either way, be reassured that your child will have normal hair growth at some point, although it may take some time to be noticeable.

sad to say i think when it comes to hairy issues... she may have inherited my genes. i was a vbb till my first birthday. hair becomes thick only in primary school. very thick... now hairdresses complain that cutting my hair is as much as cutting three heads! ha... so i am confident that missy will have nice thick hair later in life. but for now.. botak may be one of her early words in life..hee...
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i am puzzled bout one thing though... she gets this dirt in her hair. particularly at the back. the dirt is peculiar. its like the eraser dirt you get when you rub away pencil marks. it gets entangled with her hair. the only way to rid it is to cut! now she has little hair to star with.. yet this dirt keeps coming back almost imediately. if i leave it.. the rubber ball gets bigger. i have changed her pillow.. not at my in-laws place though. still i doubt its the pillow. actually i'm clueless...

what is it?

C'caine

scrappy~feeding

lighter than air

lighter than air
we think we know the reason for your temperamental ways for these past few weeks. you want to be swayed to sleep in the swinging cot a.k.a buai. you have been challenging me since last week especially during the day. night time you are discipline enuff to sleep by your own in the cot.

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*flash back* just you and me with your inconsolable crying. its definitely getting louder and angrier. housework put aside, i dont even find time to eat. come nightfall i will call abah if he can return home early. untouchable during his study days he gave me a short strict unsympathetic no! at wits end, both of us would end up tearing together. i even thought you dont love me anymore. you wanted to be with your caretakers rather than your own ummie. i was devastated.

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then baba help me get a buai for our place all the way from across the causeway. i came home, open the door and there it was... a huge carton box with the buai illustration by a company called cherryland.

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it sat there for the whole week. i dont want to assemble it. i dont want you be in it. i refuse to give in...
but the damage has been done. whenever we go to someones house. you would cry for as long as 2 hours. i think you prefer the malls..*girls will be girls*..coz you would never cry so long during our shopping spree.

my fear is realised...you getting attached to buai. i thought we go cold turkey. but abah would not back me up. he said it will be tough for them to take care of you without it. but it is already bad now that you would cry whenever you are sleepy...pfftt..

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yesterday...you gave another dose of your cries. so abah ripped the box open and assemble the swinging contraption. i actually wanted to put it on sale at ebay! ten mins in it you were still wailing. so i stepped in and give the ol' ummie hug. force feed you and place you on the cot. soon you started singing your lullaby. so abah and me left you alone to sleep...

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so i will only use it in emergency... like someone at home to make me place you there! its hard when i do not have the control over things. i am a leo.. i strive on leadership. not having my own mom/family to take care of you meaning i cant happily slap rules and regulations...

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i once posted that i will not complain about motherhood or about you... well this is just me letting out my frustrations. we do love you and you light up our lives.. cranky o not...

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**************************************
it took me six hours to complete this entry...thanx to the frequent machine calls...lunch..m/c call...shopping..m/c call...n what nots.. but today is my last day of werk. 4 off days lies ahead.. anyone wanna ask me out? well i still have the PC to fix amidst the housework... hee.. not so free after all... hee hee...will be back latest sunday...

ummiE

scrappy~4months

overdue

ummiE

virus invasion

virus invasion

part trois... the last invasion log was 27 april. why only a month?... its beacoz he set up the PC...hee.. he is (always) the founder of whatever virus that came knocking... hmmm... makes me wonder bout his innocence...

.

well its a whole week of no PC... it drives me crazy that i cannot pay my bills. so thanx starhub for disconnecting my cabletv.. bah...

i didnt even know about the earth quake till 3days later! sad right...

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its not easy at home as missy is throwing tantrums ever so often... she is capable of crying for 2 hours.. now wer will i find the time to do the PC but to sacrifice my sleep... well at least now that his exams are over he is more active in babysitting..hurray..

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still we challenged ourselves with cranky missy and indulged in the GreatSingaporeSale.. buying more clothes for her... and how does she say thank you.... right by crying wat else.. lol.. :-)

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*posted from werk as i havent had my hands on e pc yet...hee...*

C'caine