lighter than air

lighter than air
we think we know the reason for your temperamental ways for these past few weeks. you want to be swayed to sleep in the swinging cot a.k.a buai. you have been challenging me since last week especially during the day. night time you are discipline enuff to sleep by your own in the cot.

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*flash back* just you and me with your inconsolable crying. its definitely getting louder and angrier. housework put aside, i dont even find time to eat. come nightfall i will call abah if he can return home early. untouchable during his study days he gave me a short strict unsympathetic no! at wits end, both of us would end up tearing together. i even thought you dont love me anymore. you wanted to be with your caretakers rather than your own ummie. i was devastated.

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then baba help me get a buai for our place all the way from across the causeway. i came home, open the door and there it was... a huge carton box with the buai illustration by a company called cherryland.

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it sat there for the whole week. i dont want to assemble it. i dont want you be in it. i refuse to give in...
but the damage has been done. whenever we go to someones house. you would cry for as long as 2 hours. i think you prefer the malls..*girls will be girls*..coz you would never cry so long during our shopping spree.

my fear is realised...you getting attached to buai. i thought we go cold turkey. but abah would not back me up. he said it will be tough for them to take care of you without it. but it is already bad now that you would cry whenever you are sleepy...pfftt..

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yesterday...you gave another dose of your cries. so abah ripped the box open and assemble the swinging contraption. i actually wanted to put it on sale at ebay! ten mins in it you were still wailing. so i stepped in and give the ol' ummie hug. force feed you and place you on the cot. soon you started singing your lullaby. so abah and me left you alone to sleep...

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so i will only use it in emergency... like someone at home to make me place you there! its hard when i do not have the control over things. i am a leo.. i strive on leadership. not having my own mom/family to take care of you meaning i cant happily slap rules and regulations...

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i once posted that i will not complain about motherhood or about you... well this is just me letting out my frustrations. we do love you and you light up our lives.. cranky o not...

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it took me six hours to complete this entry...thanx to the frequent machine calls...lunch..m/c call...shopping..m/c call...n what nots.. but today is my last day of werk. 4 off days lies ahead.. anyone wanna ask me out? well i still have the PC to fix amidst the housework... hee.. not so free after all... hee hee...will be back latest sunday...

ummiE