hi5

hi5

My baby turns 5.

i was lost in motherhood till now. i tried so hard to do things right. to make things look perfect. to have a gorgeous bundle of joy to show the world. thru the journey I got confused, depressed and burnt out...

despite the many experiences i had. i am one who handles a baby rather carelessly. i simply plonked you on a soft surface and shove the bottle in your face. while other mothers would craddle their baby in their arms to feed...

*the beddie buddy secret...

Jeff was helping ummie hold the bottle for you*

.

countless times i made you trip in the bath tub. i made you knock your head while placing you in the car seat. oh how i made you cry. abah would always throw stern looks at me when I fumble around you...

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then when I see a fellow mother handle their baby so tenderly. i thought i dont love you enough...

but when you play the crying game. then i fail to soothe you no matter what i try. i thought you dont love me....

.

forgive ummie my love, for i have sinned...

.

now that you have a mind of your own. you are teaching me to take things as it comes. you blow me away with your gaze and antics. you never fail to give me a thank you smile for fetching you each day. how you get distracted during play to look for me. when I caught you spying at me you turn away smiling coyly..

.

Oh how you make our hearts flutter wit love. how I find it incredibly hard to believe you are ours. oh I hope its not too late to enjoy these beautiful moments...

ummiE